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Showing posts from March, 2017

Jihad

Aku kelahi dengan kenangan. Kenangan datang seperti hujan, tak henti-henti dan tak habis-habis. Hujan saja masih bisa diprediksi oleh ramalan cuaca, tapi kenangan tidak. Kenangan datang meninju ulu hati tanpa aba-aba. Lalu berdiam saja di sudut ruangan.
Kelahi juga aku dengan kekasihku. Dia tak suka-kalau aku terus saja mengenang-ngenang kenang. Ku bilang: kau goblok sekali jika kau kira aku senang mengenang-ngenang. Kau bahkan goblok dua kali jika kau kira aku tidak lelah. Lalu kekasihku marah-marah.
(padahal aku bilangnya juga dalam hati saja)
Aku abaikan saja sisa kenangan dan amarah di pojokan. Lalu ku telepon ibu. Kelahi juga aku dengan ibu. Susah betul jadi anak perempuan di tahun 2000-an, kawin salah, tidak kawin salah juga. Tidak sekolah salah, sekolah salah juga. Bodoh salah, jadi pintar salah juga.
Lalu hujan datang lagi. Tapi kenangan bukan salju, yang hilang saat hujan datang. Biar sajalah. Anggap saja sedang berjihad melawan kenangan.

Asian Wife, Asian Nanny

Image
A friend of mine showed me this video



Then I went through the comment section:








These comments are following very common disturbing assumptions when you see an Asian woman with a white guy:
She is the maid/ nannyShe goes for him for moneyHe goes for her for sexShe is stupid Asian from the villageThe guy is having Asian fetish
This is just very sad how inequality rooted deeply that it is hard to see two human beings as two equal entities without the society judging them.

Back then, I felt so uncomfortable to hang out with my partner in public. People stared at me and judged me. People thought that I was interested in his money and that he paid for my life in general. When we traveled, people were asking if I was a tour guide or a prostitute. When we hung out, even when I was the one who gave the card to pay, the waiter gave it back to him to sign. When we went shopping and I asked for a price of a dress, the shop keeper told my partner the price of the goddamn fucking dress, and not to m…