over analyzing

M: How's life?

R: Fun, love this job, travel a lot.

M: Tell me more about Pullman that you said taste like Ibis.

R: Haha... it's more sophisticated than Ibis, but the standard room was just as small as Ibis though. How's your newest date?

M: Actually we're going to have birthday dinner tonight. So I won't have much time now, just want to hear from you. Long time we didn't have conversation.

R: Yeah, I'll have a class at 6, will be here only for the next half an hour or less. But that’s cool, glad that you really find someone, and stop playing around.

M: I'm not saying that I stop playing around. I told her we're in a circumstance to getting to know each other better.

R: -__-" that's so you, mister-I-don't-wanna-be-in-a-hurry,so-let's-getting-to-know-each-other-better-and-we'll- see.

M: And how's your love life?

R: No love life.

M: No way.

R: No love life. How you met her?

M: He was sitting in front of me in coffee shop maybe a month ago, i forced her to accept my business card, then i forced her to have dinner with me, and forced her to the bed.

R: Ha, as always. Seems so easy for you.

M: No love life?

R: No.

M: At all?

R: How if we just talk about your love life instead of mine?

M: Sex life?

R: No, neither love life nor sex life for last couple of months. It's not as easy as what you did, smile to a lady in a coffee shop and grab her to the bed.

M: I believe it will be so easy for you too. Remember at first place I have no intention to be your good friend, but you know, to grab you too. But then you choose your ex boyfriend.

R: -__-"

M: No kiss? No nothing?

R: No, I don't want to have anything these recent days. I'm afraid if I say yes to someone in this circumstances, it's not because I like him, but because of I feel lonely.

M: No you won't.

R: Sometimes you just grab somebody who is closest to you, like somebody right next to you just because you feel lonely, and you need to share the loneliness.

M: I know you won't do that, because you know that you feel lonely.

R: But you will still do that without consciousness, you think you like her, or even love, but then you realize you just need her because you need accompany, because you feel lonely. Guess that what happened on my last relationship. This guy was just feeling lonely.

M: That's not a bad thing. You acknowledge yourself that you feel lonely, than you need somebody. I don't know why that sounds so bad to you.

R: You need to overcome the loneliness by yourself, not by somebody else existences, or else you're going to be dependent to the existence of others. Thus I need to make friend with myself, to be firm about myself. So when you found your significant others you won't be her burden to fill the hole in you. She has no obligation to heal you, or to make you feel better. That is your obligation towards yourself.

M: People feel lonely, they need accompany, then they find each other. it's not something bad. That will always be your problem, analyzing everything, not to say over analyzing. 

R: ...


  1. Great freaking analysis Rika!! Totally agree with the dependent-thing. Defo something to watch out for...

  2. I giggled a little when I was reading this piece... It's interesting, though :)


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