nausea


I can feel a long line of tears on the corner of my eyes
But I already put my make up on
(I allow you to ruin my lipstick
but not with my eyeliner)

I have gin and tonic
But drinking reminds me of you

I put the music loud
Shit
We used to dance with it

I was chewing the light
when your train got in
and the street lamps have colored everything
yellow

Now is that these are my empty hands
spread like a fin
to swim through another morphin.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mimpi

 Tadi malam uwak datang dalam mimpi aku tahu itu cuma mimpi aku tahu uwak sudah mati seperti Papa dan Umi Uwak bergamis panjang dengan kerudung putih tiap kali berjalan, ia meninggalkan anak sungai aku cuma teringat: kalau sudah bangun nanti, aku harus memberi tahu sepupu soal mimpi ini Lalu aku berjalan menyusuri anak sungai tergesa ingin megabarkan isi mimpi karena lelah mimpi membangunkanku Loh, aku masih dalam mimpi Umalas,  4 Juni 2022
Read more

Teman Perempuan

Saya tumbuh besar tanpa punya teman dekat karena domisili selalu berpindah-pindah setiap 5 tahun. Saya tidak pernah punya teman yang, misalnya, sudah 20 tahun berteman baik. Yah, paling-paling saya cuma punya satu teman yang saya kenal sejak TK kecil, itu pun tak terlalu dekat, dan teman yang saya kenal sejak kelas 6 SD. Namun, tak satupun yang dekat-dekat amat sampai saya bisa ceritakan urusan percintaan, atau karir ke mereka. Saya tak pernah memikirkan urusan pertemanan ini sebelumnya, sampai pekan lalu ketika sahabatnya Giles berkunjung dan membicarakan soal best man. Katanya, dia kecewa kami tak melakukan upacara pernikahan, karena dia ingin sekali berpidato di pernikahan Giles. Lalu saya pikir, siapa yang kira-kira akan saya pilih untuk berpidato kalau kami memutuskan untuk mengadakan acara pernikahan? Ketika saya bilang saya tak memikirkan urusan pertemanan, bukan berarti saya pikir teman itu tidak penting. Sebelumnya, saya hanya tak pandai saja menjaga hubungan pertemanan ja
Read more

who do you think you are?

So, why you suddenly want to meet? Nothing, just want to catch up. We haven't talk forever! I know, I don't want to talk to, need sometimes to figure it out. I told you that. How's life? Good, travel a lot, bunch of meeting, bunch of holiday. How's work? Not really good, haven't made a deal ever since. Do you feel happy? Do I feel happy? Generally of course I feel happy. What do you mean? You know, after the break up, are you ok? Are you happy? What? Who do you think you are so I should feel unhappy? I mean of course I was sad, and sometimes can't help myself but reminiscing those happy moments. But that's the way it is, that's relationship. Sometimes some knuckle head took your heart and lost it, then you feel sad, then life goes on. But it's not a reason to feel unhappy. Come on, who do you think you are? You know... I don't know... I just concern... But yeah, glad you're ok.
Read more